She stood back and watched, looked on from a distance, sat silently while others spoke up.
Stuck up, aloof, conceited, her classmates said about her. If you frown like that you’re going to get a wrinkle, her grandma told her.
I have a wrinkle.
Maybe you can relate.
I didn’t know back then that I was a writer, taking it all in, writing with my invisible pen if not on paper. Now I return to the memory bank and make withdrawals daily.
I learned to overcome my shyness through theatre and dance. Later, God opened the door to public speaking. But there was always the “4th wall” as we say, then, soon, even that began to disappear as I gained confidence in who I was, year by year.
And one day, there was no more room inside me to hold one more introspection. I wrote with ink. Since then I have filled a couple hundred journals, written thousands of blogs and three books—one published and two more, not yet.
The two stories I finally did submit for publication this past year, were published on-line, so why this great hesitation?
All I have to do is open a literary agent or publisher website these days and see all the credentials, degrees, awards of the authors they represent to feel waves of doubt, followed by fear and an overwhelming sense of fatigue.
I look up at my opening sentence here in this blog, and realize it’s the same feeling I had way back in school that returns. So I rub my wrinkle to relax my forehead and know, this, too, I will overcome! By God’s grace. It’s sufficient and it will bring peace for the projects at hand. Joy does return.
And here’s an example.
You might remember my niece who is battling a serious and very rare disease. I am so incredibly proud of her. She reached out to doctors studying her disease, and this past week, they had her come to Yale Medical School. Accompanied by her sister and my sister and bother-in-law, they ended the trip in our old stomping ground—Greenwich Village—where Joanie and I lived many years ago, and they also went to Freedom Tower which I’ve never seen!
They received wonderful wisdom from the doctors and experts for the journey ahead and, most importantly, hope for full recovery, although she will have to be patient.
Sometimes I wonder if that’s the most difficult of the Spirit’s Fruits to master as we wait for God’s wisdom. Patience. Do we ever master it?
But as I ponder all this, I remember this: my sister told me while they were in New Haven, my niece stopped to talk to every sick person she could and encouraged them. “I was talking to the concierge at the front door of Yale,” Joanie wrote, “who said, we needed prayers. I told her we have a whole circle of warriors praying. She said she could see it on Taylor and me when we walked in. I’m thankful beyond words for the endless, tireless prayers!”
That’s what happens when our focus shifts to Jesus. We have eyes to see the needs of those around us instead of our own petty fears and concerns. And we have prayers beyond the measure of gold. The messages come every day, “Eyes up!”
When I surrender all, I know that the One who created a beautiful world out of chaos, and set the stars in their courses, and made each plant to know its season, will do the same for us.
Keep writing, faithful warriors. Eyes up and write that book! People need to hear your story. It will change someone’s life. I guess that’s I wanted to say this morning. You know who you are…
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12
Some of my sister’s photos from their trip. Feature photo: our dining room table with a finished manuscript. Sunflowers? Not a coincidence.
beautiful sunflowers!
Aw, Deb, I can relate! I was quiet, then I was brash, then I was put into another school and got quiet again. I have been met with suspicion, (“Why is she so QUIET?!”) and then told I talk too much! So, I write. I’ve learned who to be quiet around, and when I have something to say, I’ll take it to the people I know will be interested. And if there aren’t any of them around, I’ll write and post it. I can then see from my blog “likes” that someone didn’t mind my words. Jesus gave us such good advice when He told us not to toss our pearls to pigs. – Not that the uninterested people are pigs! But He has given us each our own “pearls” of wisdom and insight that we’re meant to share – with the right people. 😉
Annie, I just love your words here. Thank you. I always hated that question, “Why doesn’t she talk?” But it wasn’t enough to make me speak up, not for a while, anyway. Then once I finally did, they said, “Wow, once she starts, she doesn’t stop!” I had a lot to say!
It’s so fun being soul sisters! 🙆🏻♀️
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Carlos, thanks! Don’t you just love sunflowers? They instinctively know how to face the sun!🌻
Spot on for me, thank you. I am revisiting a book I wrote in it’s first draft, asking (today), should I or should I not complete it. It’s amazing the timing of our post shares and interaction (even over the internet) I feel immensely blessed by the Lord through you xx
Ditto, Morag, me too you! I’ll be getting back to work on my novel now, so we surely are in this together. 🌻🙆🏻♀️💕🙏
😂Lovely! 🙏💜
“And one day, there was no more room inside me to hold one more introspection.” How did you do that? Describe a condition I’m familiar with…yet paradoxically didn’t know I had? 😉 Thank you for that, Deb! And…I’ll be thinking good thoughts for your niece. 💕
Vickie, thank you for your words here. They mean a lot. And I just love how Morag answered your question for me! “It’s amazing the timing of our post shares and interaction (even over the internet) I feel immensely blessed by the Lord through you xx”
So do I! 🌻🙏💗
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I get the hesitation seeing literary sites and their backgrounds, but three words come to mind: “why not you?” Good luck and yes, patience is very much in need now. I know I’m horrible at being patient. Ugh! Ha ha.
I love those three words Brian. Thanks for that. 1 2 3! Easy to remember. 😀 Sending the best of best wishes back to you! I have so enjoyed your writing and owe you a return visit! ☺️
Yes, I need to find more time to work on my novel. I’m having too much fun with the blog though! 😝😝😝
Me too! But it does seem to ebb and flow. I try to follow my inspiration these days. I surely don’t ever have to force myself to work and write. I consider that a blessing. 😌 They say not to write two books at one time. I break all the rules. 😁
That’s a great way to think about it — “a blessing.” When I view writing from that perspective, the blocks and challenges seem easier to overcome! Thx for the reminder! Yea, heck with the rules, make your own. 😝😎😎😎😎
I love!
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Stellar post as always. As my Irish friend from days in Spain would say: Brilliant! 😀
Awesome news about Taylor! 😀✝️✝️✝️ I continue to pray for her daily. I’ll send this update to the prayer team. Praise God for his grace, mercy, goodness, lovingkindness, compassion, steadfastness and faithfulness! ✝️✝️✝️
“Peace for the projects at hand,” you wisely remind us. Indeed, every project is ultimately in God’s hands, isn’t it. Thank you for refocusing our perspective, Deb! / Praise God for the hopeful news regarding your niece. How wonderful that her faith-filled attitude and that of her family, fueled by all the prayer support, is evident on their faces!
Oh, I enjoyed sharing your prayer update with Taylor and her mom! It’s quite a boost to know you are being prayed for all across the globe! Thank you for your kind words, wonderful prayers that are offering results and continued hope. You have made Taylor and all (including me) feel very special. Please pass on our gratitude. May you be richly blessed in return. 😊🙏🌻💕
Aww, thank you for your kind thoughts and words, Nancy. Any refocusing of perspective has to begin here with me—so we offer our praise to God on so many levels! ❤️ How He uses even our weaknesses to further His work in and through us to touch others’ lives is truly amazing. Isn’t it? ☺️❤️
It’s so true. 😄❤️🙋🏻😎👩🏼🎨
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My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer.
Psalms 45:1
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