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Ecclesiastes 3 reminded me this morning that

there is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven

a time to write and a time to edit

a time to rewrite and a time to wait

a time to study and a time to stop

a time to be patient and a time to be published

there are new beginnings and surprise endings

what does the writer gain from this toil?

i have seen the burden that God lays on those to share a message of hope

God has made everything beautiful in his time

he has also set eternity in our hearts yet we cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end

i know there is nothing better for us than to be happy and do good

to write well while we live

so that we may eat and drink and find satisfaction in all our toil

this is the gift from God

i know that everything God does will endure forever

nothing can be added to it or taken from it

God does this so that we will revere him

whatever is has already been and what will be has been before and God will call the past into account

yes

there is a time to weep and a time to laugh
a time to mourn and a time to dance
a time to scatter and a time to gather
a time to search
a time to give up
a time to keep and
a time to “kill the little darlings”

i read the new ending of my novel to my husband the other night and cried

they were good tears

i was happy and wanted to read the entire manuscript to him because i felt the flow

finally

those were the hardest words

to hear

“i was expecting it to flow better”

i was rejected

i’m dramatic

the manuscript was but for a former dancer

those words stung me to my dancer core

and they were the best gift i could have received

from first draft to final i can see now what i could not see at the beginning

there was terrain i needed to travel

the deeper roads leading where i resisted going and needed a push in order to recognize things i didn’t yet know but had to learn

from the outside it might have looked as if my life were diminishing while inside

over time

i can see the seeds of new life that were being sown

it’s here in this place

where i’m writing and satisfied that i find i have the most to offer

neither my contentment nor my worth depend on my achievements

after a lifetime spent where it did that is freeing

i imagine one day laying eyes on all the stories

prose and poetry never published but were written with eternity in mind

what a day that will be!

i’m so glad we’re in this together

___________

Photo: with gratitude to Jelezniac Bianca and Unsplash

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