I crawl into this new morning from my bed to my chair, fresh from sleep, craving the first sip of the caramel colored coffee my husband sets on my table. I smelled it dripping into the cup—more than the sunrise, it’s the sign of a new day. In my chair, I find my branch to cling, like the caterpillar preparing for its cocoon. This is my cocoon, where I begin to weave a shell of safety around me with my first sips, then set the mug down and reach for my books, pen and paper.
Rose seems to know where I am regardless of where she is in the house. My sassy, huntress of a cat, who spends her nights outside, just knows. She jumps in my lap and makes it a challenge to read and write but I balance my book on one arm of the chair and my notebook on the other as she splays out in my lap and kneads my leg like I’m her mother. Even sassy huntresses need a nest to return to.
I flip my light on and the familiar golden glow defines my space in the surrounding darkness.
As the caterpillar begins to spin his green blanket of a shell, I fill my mind with the words on the pages. God touches the places needing care and attention. His words are my shell—His Face shines on me and he is gracious to me (Psalm 67:1). I am safe from my tendency to over think, safe in these moments of self-exposure. His words are cleansing and freeing as He removes my self-condemnation, my doubts, my fears and self-focus. I open myself up to my failures, my shortcomings, my impatience, my thoughtlessness, my ranting—spoken and unspoken. I am aware of my brokenness, my weakness, of the darkness in me.
After a while, He prods me on and into the new day with Him, reminding me once again that His Grace is sufficient, and to get on with it. I hesitate in the darkness I know so well, am comfortable with, but He pushes again and my head pokes out to see the light of the new day—the Light of His Presence in and around me. I have emerged with fragile wings but with the desire to fly.
I sit patiently, in stillness as I pray for the filling of His Spirit—new this day because I am new. I feel Life pumping into me—His strength in and around me. I hear the beating of my heart. He gives me the firmness of His Truth to guard it. He places His Peace on my feet so that where I walk it too may travel. He shields me from doubt and deceit—my own and others. He gives my head covering so that my mind may stay focused on Him. He places in my hands His Strength to pull off the tempting disguises of all that is meaningless. He has put His Armor on me so that I am prepared to live the day in and with His Perfect Kindness. All that’s left is to wake the cat. With her stretched out snug serenity, this is the hardest part.
Then with the breath of His Spirit I prepare for flight. Just for the day. That’s what He has given me and I give thanks.