The word “pondering” might put my husband Todd off. I would never say to him, “I’ve been pondering…”

Contemplating, well, that’s not much better. “I’ve been contemplating,” I wouldn’t say that either. He might look at my scanty eyed.

So I’ll just say, it being Christmas Day, I’m thinking about this: The Incarnation. 

Since it’s not understandable through intellect, I’ve remembered a poem I read a long time ago. An old friend, who is no longer in my life, shared it with me. 

Since I am still reading the poem today, though, I guess that means my old friend is still with me. Just in a different way. 

My friend loved the poem, but alas, when I read it over four decades ago, I had no clue what it meant. 

It only seemed dark and depressing to me, and had nothing to do with Christmas. It was probably things like that poem, and me not understanding it—when he was crazy about it—that clouded our friendship and eventually separated us. 

Funny thing about life though, things do keep returning when we look for deeper understanding about life itself, about others, about ourselves.

And for guidance…like a star in the dark night sky.  

I was reminded of that poem this past week, when I received a card with a picture of the Magi following that star. 

Theirs was a long journey. “A cold coming they had of it,” T. S. Elliot writes. 

And this time, when I read his 43-line poem, my eyes were opened wide. Or maybe it was my head or heart or maybe it was all three. 

Or maybe I’d arrived at last to that place of birth, or was it death? Because it was about Christmas in a terribly deep way.

“‘A cold coming we had of it, just the worst time of year for a journey and such a long journey: the ways deep and the weather sharp, the very dead of winter…’

“And this was a long time ago, I remember and I would do it again, but set down 

This set down

This: were we led all that way for Birth of Death?

There was a Birth, certainly

We had evidence and no doubt.

I had seen birth and death,

But had thought they were different; this Birth was hard and bitter agony for us, like Death, our death,

We returned to our places, these Kingdoms,

But no longer at ease here, in the old dispensation,

With an alien people clutching their gods.

I should be glad of another death.”

~T.S. Elliot, The Journey of the Magi

Seems so many are saying these days they’re tired. Illnesses don’t help, but why do we become ill sometimes? Because we are tired?

We surrender?

We look for the star?

We look for guidance?

We look for…what are you looking for and where?

The Wiseman looked up, 

The Shepherds, too. 

They were both wise men and shepherds of great flocks, guiding, protecting their sheep with their rods and staffs. 

We look for wisdom.

We look for strength.

We look for love 

so we can 

love better?

It’s funny, we look up

and find it

within.

They fell to their knees, not from exhaustion. 

They bowed humbly to worship the newborn Child, their Messiah. He had come to them so unexpectedly 

and they followed the Star

Right into their own hearts. 

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Sending warm wishes and prayers to you and yours for renewed strength, peace and joy this Season and throughout the coming year. ❤️